Babies

This is a controversial post.
Please note - what I type out here are my thoughts on the topic.
If you have any thoughts on the same, write it on your own blog.
If you disagree with me on any fact to be mentioned below – comment.
I shall entertain the idea of entertaining your disagreement.

I am not too fond of babies.

Every single time I have stated the above, I have had to deal with the following:
1) A long, boring monologue on why babies are a symbol of innocence, purity and everything good that exists or is believed to exist on Earth.
2) A cold, reprimanding look which tries to force the words ‘oh! I am wrong’ out of my sealed mouth.
3) ‘Are you crazy?’ – I’m not entirely sure how to respond to this question.
4) ‘How can you say such a horrendous, inhuman thing?’ – Well, I just did! Maybe you should try next! It is pretty simple to say if you know a funny language called English.
5) ‘You just think it is cool to say so.’ – is it cool? I had no idea!!!
6) And the worst of all - ‘You will grow out of it eventually.’ I hope not.

Almost every person I have come across thinks babies are lovely.
Every female I know wants to become a baby producing machine some day.
In this post I’m going to prove and rest my case on why I am not too fond of babies.

Making them is a Herculean task.

- It is either when you least want it or after nights of toiling hard (forgive the pun) that you finally get it right/wrong.
- 280 days of misery follows during which these ‘babies’ survive as parasites. In addition, you have to deal with a big belly which restricts every possible normal human activity: standing, sleeping, eating, peeing, sitting, shitting – everything.
- 12 hours of pain struggling to get the damn thing out of you. This pain (from what I have seen) is beyond my limited vocabulary, but bears a close resemblance to the torture in Nazi concentration camps.
- Baby comes into being. Slimy, dirty, monkey-faced baby comes into being.

Amusing them is, again, pure torture.

- They cry all the time.
- They either cry or sleep or are hungry.
- They cry for everything, you don’t realize what they want.
- They are stupid.
- All they care about is their wants. Others’ schedules take a backseat.
- They are selfish.
- They are not as innocent as they seem: they know what they essentially need to survive and go to great lengths to get whatever it is that they want, at any cost.
- They have no manners.
- They expect us to clean their mess.
- They just make stupid noises and think they can have their way.
- They love the attention!

And they are supposed to be cute.
Read my post again, with an adult human taking the place of the baby.
Does the human being cute justify these atrocities?
It doesn’t as far as I am concerned.

I am not too fond of babies.