Friday, 29 August 2008


Speech is a wonderful gift.
But more often than never it can be a bane in the guise of a boon.
There are so many monstrous villains out in the wild waiting for naive prey and speech is one among the most fearsome.

Now, this requires a bit of imagination –
Every word you speak is a monster – terrible, ugly monster breathing fire. This monster once out of your mouth can go either way:
- It can breathe fire into the person you are addressing, or
- It can turn around and breathe fire back at you.
Every single word is a monster.

I often wonder why parents jump with joy at nonsensical monosyllables mouthed by infants – “Ma”, “Pa”, “Ga”, “Gu”… wtf?
And then it goes on to become “Mama”, “Papa”, “Gaga”, “Gugu”… wtf?
And ultimately it becomes “Get your fucking ass out of my room, you old hag!”...WTF?!

Don’t they realize it is this same gift which made them weep tears of joy today that will make them weep tears of sorrow tomorrow? (sob!)

Actions speak louder than words -
I honestly believe words carve the way for actions.
Without words actions wouldn’t hold their value.
I think Mohammad Ali’s confident words defeated more number of boxers than his boxing skills.
It is all about the way you hold your head high, look straight into the eyes of the opponent, meet the challenge and speak as if there is no tomorrow – this, my friends, is the only solution for a viva you haven’t prepared shit for.

But words can do harm.
Since the tongue is almost always wet it slips quite often.
And a slip of the tongue, well ouch! - can hurt real badly.
Ever wondered how to keep the tongue from slipping?
Well some may say keeping the damn thing dry will avoid the slipping.
– I don’t think that is a reasonable solution though.
Imagine wiping your tongue dry every minute – not only is it disgusting but it is also tiresome.
So the solution is to keep your mouth shut unless it is absolutely mandatory you open it. This means:
1) no mouthing allowed
2) no undue facial expressions allowed
3) no whispering allowed
4) no giggling, whatsoever, allowed
5) no speech without thought allowed
6) And most importantly - stifle the yawns!
This should keep the tongue from slipping unnecessarily.

A slip of the tongue is still tolerable.
What is totally unnerving is a person who talks gibberish
– Blabber mouths I call them.
They just keep on talking without the slightest consideration about the person listening to them. Blabber away about what they did, where they went, when they went, who they met, how they met, why they met, which meeting of theirs was special, why it was special, how it was special, blabber, blabber, blabber.
And then the listener becomes an infant – voicing only monosyllables.

I, for sure, know I will never blabber in my life.
You blabber only when you are desperate.
You are desperate only when you want.
You want only when you think you don’t have.
You think you don’t have only when u meet someone who does.
I haven’t met anyone like that so far.

So don’t blabber and make yourself look desperate.
Think less.
Speak lesser.
Get the message across.
Don’t let the monster turn back and breathe fire at you!
Save yourself.

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