Thursday, 14 August 2008


I have been paranoid all my life - at least ever since I can remember. Maybe this was because I learnt the meaning of paranoia from some stupid TV show early on in life, when I was seven - to be meticulously exact... Yes! Seven and ever since then I love the word paranoid and I have been paranoid.

Being paranoid is kind of cool contrary to the usual beliefs. It can get out of hand at times but mostly it is a work of the imaginative skills in you. Walk into a crowd and I feel people talking about me, discussing every single disturbing detail, almost plotting against me. Everything a person says or does crosses my mind twice:
First, it just crosses my mind... flashes through.
Then, it comes back all the way and crosses my mind again, slower this time. And this time I wonder about the hidden agenda. About what the hidden plot of finally doing harm to me is. About what the person actually meant or didn’t mean or meant to mean or didn’t mean to mean.

Sometimes I get tired of it and just let it be. I mean what is to lose anyway. If they do finally get to me and say, kill me, I am dead. That is about it. Now how much can that matter. Not much to me because I am not going to lose out on anything other than a boring, almost-insignificant life on this insignificant planet of ours. But it might be a great loss to you because the only person who could enlighten you just died. So if you are plotting against me, it is you who you are harming, not me. Little do I care about your well being.
So (please!) stop and think twice, thrice or even a million times before you act else you shall regret forever.

I recently read something about paranoia that made sense. 'Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they are not out to get you.' Nice. Very nice.

So the question is, are people actually out to get me? Or am I just paranoid? For all those who think I am actually crazy and immediately need help from some crazier-than-me person who is out to empty my pocket – well, maybe you are right. Maybe I am a little eccentric in my thoughts.
But a little paranoia is not always equal to crazy.
Even you have it at times.
Don't deny it.
I accepted it a long time ago, when I was seven - to be meticulously exact.


sunilrufus said...

"For all those who think I am actually crazy and immediately need help from some crazier-than-me person who is out to empty my pocket" – well if u want help to empty ur already heavy and burdensome presenting myself for the unpleasant task..!

btw herez a song that was my favourite...the Song titled paranoid goes thus...."
Finished with my woman 'cause she couldn't help me with my mind
people think I'm insane because I am frowning all the time
All day long I think of things but nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind if I don't find something to pacify
Can you help me occupy my brain?
Oh yeah
I need someone to show me the things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness, I must be blind
Make a joke and I will sigh and you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel and love to me is so unreal
And so as you hear these words telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life I wish I could but it's too late "

Another Blogger said...

Thanks for volunteering.. I'll definitely keep it in mind.
And nice lyrics.

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