Today was not the best of days. Well, the best of days rarely comes, that is why it is called 'the best'. But today, well, it was not even one of the better days... Actually it was one of the worse days... - Today was a bad day. Period
Well, why it was a bad day requires a lot of thought and it doesn't matter much (not to me anyway). But something someone told me kept bouncing about in my mind - like a ping pong ball bouncing about in a closed, empty room - and it kept coming in and out of focus. Finally, it came into focus long enough for me to figure out what it was.
Life is a bitch.
Why is life a bitch? I mean, why bitch? Why female? Is it because females give birth? Or is it because females are nasty? Do not take me wrong I’m not one who even remotely believes in feminism. But why would anybody have the notion that life was a female. My life might be a female because I am one, but what about all the males out there? Are their lives also bitches? Or are their lives called dogs?
Life is a dog - Doesn’t sound so 'full of some sort of meaning' anymore.
Why is life a bitch, again? I mean, again, why bitch? Why the poor animal which has always been loyal and faithful (and all the wonderful adjectives i can't think of) to man. Is life always loyal and faithful (and all the wonderful adjectives i can't think of) to man? I never felt so. And if you believe so then calling life a bitch would actually be a compliment to life. Being called a bitch or a son of a bitch or a dog would actually be a compliment because the person who called you that actually feels you are loyal and faithful (and all the wonderful adjectives I can't think of).
So lesson no 2: Life is not a bitch - it is a mistake both grammatically (gender) and factually. And next time somebody calls you a bitch or a son of a bitch or a dog, make sure you express your gratitude at being complimented.