Blood red, Red blood

I am not a person anyone would call not nasty.
I am also not a person anyone would dare call nasty.
This maybe because either people are too terrified to call me nasty imagining the nasty things I might do to them if I find out what they called me or maybe because I am a neutral person – not too nasty but still sort of nasty all the same.
I like to think the latter is true, even though I like the idea of people being terrified of me.

Whatever you have read till now in this post is pure bullshit.
It has no relevance.
Now read on for the bullshit that I don’t think is bullshit.

I am not a hypocrite.
I am not a coward.
I was always sure about the certainty of the above mentioned two statements – until recently when a casual conversation during lunch made me think twice.
This has disturbed me, terribly.

I am a non vegetarian.
I like vegetables.
I love fruits of all sorts.
But basically I am a non vegetarian.

I have never considered myself to be an activist against cruelty toward animals.
I have never been particularly nasty towards animals as such – I think I am nastier towards babies than animals.
A few days back my unit mates decided to take a break from our anguishing lives and have lunch together.
It was a disturbingly enlightening lunch.
For one, I confirmed the fact that I love clear soup way more than any other sort of soup.
My unit mates realised my stomach’s enormous capacity (blush)
I figured out I can talk against cruelty towards animals while eating chicken and still sound reasonable – I think that is quite a talent.

My unit mates wanted to go fishing – fishing for fish.
I thought it pretty cool until they mentioned about hunting.
And then I clearly remember me asking an extremely dumb question (which does not occur too often) – I asked whether they actually killed animals during hunting.
I wonder why I asked that.
It is clearly one of those dumb blonde questions.
The last thing I want is to transform into one of those.
Maybe I asked the dumb blonde question because I was planning on joining my unit mates for their venture and the thought of me having to kill animals seemed pretty difficult to carry out.
I guess I was just confirming their barbarism.

I do not mind eating what is served on my plate.
But when it comes to having their blood on my hands, when it comes to actually taking away their lives – I think that is crossing a thin line somewhere.

One of my unit mates went on about how deer are awesome catches and how their eyes look awfully innocent as they take their last breath.
This is what I refer to as pure brutality – killing for entertainment.
I think talking about killing an animal and then about how wonderful it looks makes you very little different from a serial killer.
Of course my unit mates do consider me a hypocrite – eating chicken and talking about how horrible it is to kill animals.
The point is I did not kill any of them – it might not make much of a difference to you, but it definitely does to me because I do not have blood on my hands.

And then came the topic about how there are hundreds of people out there getting their hands bloody just for me to eat what I eat.
Well the point is I never asked them to kill and maybe if they stopped I would stop eating meat too – I think.
This makes me a coward.
It makes me a coward who wants others to get their hands dirty to satisfy my needs.

I realised I could never take life out of any living being – if that makes me a coward and a hypocrite I guess I will have to live with it.

I thought I would find it difficult to eat chicken after the disturbing conversation.
But I am fine – still a non vegetarian.

The point is my hands are still not bloody.

Jinxed

AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!!

Have you ever felt like you have been jinxed?
If you have I think you will understand the first line of this post.

The past one month has been the most ‘unhappening’ month of my life.

1) I get posted in a creepy unit.
But I dealt with it.
I mean it was pretty nice towards the end.
It was like a challenge trying to piss them off but not piss them off.
I liked it – especially the last week.

2) Interclass happened.
Last year I could not participate in anything thanks to me being in the stupid “Students’ council” – which ruined my life.
I was hell bent on putting my head into every damn competition this year.
But alas! I’m jinxed!
I am not a sour loser – but there is a limit to which I can accept that I suck!
Not a single prize so far.
Even the teams that I have cheered for are ending up as losers.
I am like the ‘bad luck charm’.

3) Home plans
I decided to go home since there is no point in me declaring myself the biggest loser of all time in college.
But obviously – it can’t work out either, can it?!
My sister has medicine posting and my mother thinks I will burn down the house if I stay home alone.
End of home plans.

3) Blog dumps
I have not had one of those blogging sprees in a long time when I post three to four posts a day.
Not that I have not had ideas to post on.
Today I decide I am going to sit and type it all out and quite as I expected, my internet connection conks off. So I type it all out and save it for posting later – which is God alone knows when!

And how could I forget, half my laundry went missing last week.
Every salwar kameez has either the salwar or the kameez missing.
I am running out of ideas to mix and match.
I broke two pairs of sandals in the past week.
I have a strong feeling I am going to break a bone soon.

My life officially sucks!

I have a feeling it is going to get worse.
Probably I am going to hit a dump in academics too.

Bring it on!!!

Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!
(Always wanted to use this dialogue somewhere – those of you who think it is not befitting the situation can please go and shoot themselves!)

P.S.: To all my followers (especially the new ones) – you guys are the tiny specks of dust reflecting miniscule rays of sunshine in this utter darkness I find myself lost in.
Thank you for nothing.
Don’t you dare stop following me!
I’ll hunt you down and blow your brains out.
I still have my bazooka.

Sorry, I have lost it.
I will post more nonsense soon.

Unnecessary necessities

I had started out this post before the previous one.
But something came up.
I tried typing out this enlightening idea a couple of times.
But something kept coming up.
Today my mother asked me why I don’t blog so often anymore – I think that is a definite indication that it is high time I finished posting this.

Since this thought came to me weeks ago I am not sure whether I can put it across as horribly as I usually do – so pardon me if I am too clear.

I think Plato was a wise guy.
I know most of you think the same about Plato.
The only difference being I actually thought about whether he is wise or not whereas most of you take it for granted that he was a wise guy.

‘Necessity is the mother of invention’
This was what led me to the conclusion that Plato was indeed a wise guy.
The first time I heard this quote it came along with a story – I do not have any idea how true this story is but now I do know its significance.
The story was about how a student of the philosopher who does not know how to swim is taught that necessity is indeed the mother of invention by trying to drown him.
When I heard it for the first time I thought it was pretty stupid to carry out such an extreme act just to teach a student the truth behind some nonsensical quote.
One week back somehow I got to think about it after a long time and enlightenment dawned – yet again.

Nothing is as much a necessity as survival.
The only true necessity every human has is to make sure he stays alive.
And when survival is put to question the human mind takes on challenges and overcomes impossible obstacles.

If the philosopher tried teaching the student the truth behind the quote by drowning his friend instead and expecting him to try and swim to save his friend, the student might not have risked his life for his friend.
Hence no invention would have been made due to the mere lack of necessity.

The ultimate necessity which drives us, one step at a time, is the simple desire for survival.

I may very well invent something or complete tasks never accomplished by myself in the past for sheer entertainment or for helping out somebody I care for. But the truth remains that the effort put in for the same task would be definitely lesser than the effort put in if it was my survival in question – if it was a do or die situation for me.

In the end, it all comes down to simple facts.
The fact remains that we can deal with life without luxuries.
The fact remains that we do not try hard enough for anything unless our ass is on the line.
The fact remains that we can deal with any dire circumstance or loss, we can afford to experience pain but we can never entertain the idea of not giving our best shot before accepting death.

Humans, we will always remain the same.
- Selfish for survival.

Nothing drives us better than the fear of death.