Crushes and missed rushes

The past few days have been more fun than I expected it to be.
I did not expect it to be fun.
And it was fun.
Hence it was more fun than I expected it to be.

I have had my share of heart breaks.
Maybe I have had more than my share, but I have had my share – that is for sure.
I have been responsible for quite a few too – some that I am proud of and others I am not too proud of.
But I do not regret any.
I am not bitter about love.
I just think love is a belief and a big deal is made about something which is not that great a deal anyway.
If you feel like reading about my thoughts about love, I have already posted them – ‘love blossoms, love continues and love wilts’.
‘Love wilts’ is my favourite among the three – that is pretty evident.

This post is not about love.
This post is about what I have missed in the past couple of years.
I miss having the rush of a crush.

If you have ever had a crush you would know exactly what I mean.
And I am talking only about crushes here
– Nothing about ones in which you dream about love, marriage, children’s names and old age.
– Nothing to do with film stars, rock stars, models or super stars.
– Nothing, whatsoever, to do with family, past or future.
That sort is pretty depressing.
If you don’t know what I am talking about it is my pleasure to enlighten you with the symptoms of the ‘rush of a crush’ syndrome.
1) You have butterflies and the whole animal kingdom in your stomach every time X looks at you.
2) Your throat always becomes as dry as Attacama desert (that is the driest desert in the world – not Sahara – I know I am smart!) every time you try talking to X.
3) You just can’t seem to talk sense to X. You know you are babbling nonsense and making a fool out of yourself but you just can’t help it.
4) You keep waiting for some sort of response from X; a message, a phone call, a date… anything.
5) Songs tend to remind you of X.
6) You start worrying about what X might think of you.
7) You hate that you are not the only one who seems to have ‘feelings’ for X.
8) You sing more often.
9) You spend more time in front of the mirror.
10) You spend hours thinking about what you will wear and what you will say when you meet X – none of which turns out the way it should.
11) You want to call X but you don’t want to look desperate.
12) You can’t help but answer the call at the first ring when X calls.
13) And you know the rest….

I think everyone has suffered from this syndrome at least once in their life.
You suffer from it usually when you are an early teenager.
The funny thing is – I miss it.

I miss having those lame crushes.
I miss making a fool out of myself.
I miss trying to hint at someone how much I like them.

Until a few weeks back I would have laughed at the thought of missing ‘making a fool out of myself’.
But now I realise how nice it actually did feel then.
We grow old too soon.
And I know more than half the people my age are ‘done’ having ‘lame crushes’.
They are probably on the lookout for that special thing called ‘love’ – no comments.
A couple of years from now I will be nothing more than a boring old hag married to a boring old man.
And then, I know for sure; I will miss having crushes – even more.

As weird as it may sound, I don’t really care who my crush is.
What I miss is the feeling associated with having a crush.
I think it is like an adrenaline rush which keeps a smile plastered on your face.
Even the thought of it makes me feel ‘alive’!

So I think it is high time I starting making a ‘fool out of myself’ and had a few ‘lame crushes’ because as far as I am concerned – I don’t have anything to lose!
And if you are not ‘committed’ as yet, I think you should too – because I am sure you will miss it soon.

As silly as it may sound - It is crush time folks!

P.S.: For all those who are ‘committed’:
- If you are in ‘love’ and happy – good for you.
- If you are in ‘love’ and unhappy – I did try to warn you!
- If you are not in love – I honestly feel sorry for you.
Being single is more fun than you thought it to be!