Licking ass

I have always been slightly out of my mind.
But there have very rarely been instances when I have thought twice about my being eccentric.
Last year I made a decision which made me think way more than twice whether I pushed the limit my eccentricity.

I applied for a post among the ‘chosen ones’.

The criteria for being appointed among these ‘chosen ones’ is really quite simple:
1) You have to be exemplary at licking ass.
2) You have to be good at keeping your opinions to yourself.
3) You have to ‘look’ like you are talented.

I have never considered myself good at any of the above mentioned criteria.
In short – I really sucked at it.
But I decided to push the limits of my ‘insane actions’.
I applied for a post – one which I felt I could give a shot at ‘looking’ talented in.

It always is a very controversial nomination.
The competition is always bitter.
Contestants are often accused of showing their ‘true colours’.
I had three opponents – all of them had their special ‘quirks’ which made them way better than me.
I played my games, showed my ‘true colours’ and did whatever it took to get nominated.
I am not very proud of any of it – but I think I paid my price.
I got nominated.

From the very first moment of being among the ‘chosen ones’ I knew I would not enjoy it.
Now do not misunderstand me – all the other ‘chosen ones’ were very easy to work with, the difficult bit was who we had to work for.

Our duties were simple:
1) Keep licking everyone’s ass.
2) Keep our opinions to ourselves because they don’t really matter.
3) Keep ‘looking’ talented.
4) Get used to hearing shit about yourself from everyone.
5) Never expect appreciation or gratitude – it does not exist.

It was bad.
There were eight of us – two of us girls.
Being a girl was a bane because we had an additional duty of looking pretty, ever smiling and lady-like at all the “functions”
– I hated every bit of it.

I hated every bit of it because I was quite obviously very bad at it.
I cannot smile when there is no reason to smile – my face hurts and I end up looking like the cow I mentioned in my post - Smile
In fact I had every reason in the world to not smile.
- I was always dressed up like a mummy in a saree which kept threatening to undress me in public.
- I was expected to smile at people who were too busy to even look at me.
- I was supposed to work my ass off while others could sit and complain.
- And the working my ass off bit is never easy when you are supposed to look ‘lady-like’ at the same time.

There were days when the only sleep I got was crumpled up in a wooden chair.
Food was not always a necessity – it became an option.
These two conditions made my life miserable, if not anything else.

One year did not fly by.
We did what we were supposed to do.
We did it quite well.
I did not enjoy it much.

All the ‘chosen ones’ every year will have the same story to tell.

At the end of it I just have one thing to be grateful for – the ones I worked with.
They made worse seem bad.

Dedicated to the KMC Student Council 2007-08